Most people don’t realize the power language has over them. By identifying the constructive and destructive phrases you use, out-loud and in your self-talk, you can proactively choose constructive language over destructive language. Using constructive language for all types of situations that arise in your life (both positive and negative) is one tool you can use to help insure your happiness. It’s no coincidence that unhappy people’s talk is often predominated by destructive language whereas happy people’s talk is predominated by constructive language.
The list below was started using the table showing how to identify constructive and destructive language found on pg. 215 of What Happy People Know: How the New Science of Happiness Can Change Your Life for the Better
Destructive Language
- You never…
- There’s no way…
- You should…
- I’m no good at…
- What’s the point of…
- The problem with…
- You don’t understand…
- That’s stupid…
- Don’t go there…
- It hurts to…
- He doesn’t get it…
- We’ll lose if…
- I’m better than…
- Listen to me…
- Don’t start…
- Would it kill you to…
- It’s depressing when…
- When I was your age…
- I’m afraid of…
- This is the worst thing that…
- I don’t care about…
- You make me…
Constructive
- One possibility is…
- It would be good to…
- I love you when…
- Thank you for…
- I appreciate the…
- I like…
- I understand why…
- Your best quality…
- People like you and me…
- The best part is…
- Have confidence…
- Please…
- We’ll succeed if we…
- It’s okay to…
- My reasoning is…
- I’m best at…
- The good news is…
- Let’s make the best of…
- That’s a good point…
- How can I help with…
- I’m sorry…
- It’s my responsibility…
